


She Helps Me Control It

by DarkWingsDarkWords48



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Bisexuality, Caretaking, Episode Fix-it, Episode: s04e07 The Snow Queen, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Minor Injuries, Season/Series 04, episode AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 20:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2596064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkWingsDarkWords48/pseuds/DarkWingsDarkWords48
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Emma loses control of her powers and sees the reaction of her mother, she flees to the only person who has taught her and helped her to control them.  S4E7 'The Snow Queen' AU, SQ Episode 'Fix', Oneshot, SwanQueen</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Helps Me Control It

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon A Time or any related characters. They all belong to Disney/ABC and their affiliated partners. I write this only for my enjoyment (and hopefully yours).
> 
> A/N: Ugggh, I swear I must be a masochist for continuing to watch this show. I needed some brain bleach for that next-to-last scene with Robin and Regina (and here I was hoping that Surprised!Ferret – sorry, I’m sure the actor’s a nice guy but he only has one expression while acting as Robin, and it makes him look like a ferret - had some sense talked into him at Granny’s by Will). So yeah, here’s another Episode Fix-it, Swan Queen edition, for Episode 7, The Snow Queen
> 
> This starts off with one of the emotionally heaviest scenes of the episode (IMO), the way Snow says Emma’s name after David shoves Hook out of the way and just the look on her face when Emma hears it made me want to curl up and die because JMo just sold the hell outta that.

-=<=(__)=>=-

**She Helps Me Control It**

-=<=(__)=>=-

          “ _Emma!”_

          It’s not the look of fear and disappointment and wariness in Snow’s eyes that hits her, though that look is there all too plainly. It’s not the look of pain on her father’s face from the falling lightpost that had hit him as he shoved Hook out of the way. It’s not Hook’s word – ‘monster’ – or the concern on Henry’s face.

          No, it’s the sound of that word – her name – leaving her mother’s lips that slices far too deep. She has heard that sound, that tone of voice before, far too many times. The sound of anger, shock, and reproval directed toward her by so many of the families she had stayed with. Even her earliest memory – fuzzy though it was – of the family that had kept her until they had got their own child, is marred by it. One of the last things she’d heard from the couple when she had cried and thrashed to get away from the social worker who had come to take her back.

          She had thought – hoped – it would be different with her parents, her real parents, and she’d finally had the chance. She had finally stopped expecting it, finally let her guard down. But it’s really just the same. It just took longer.

The fears she has buried since coming to Storybrooke escape and bubble to the surface as she stares, hurt and emotionally raw, at her mother. The Snow Queen may be a crazy bitch, but she’s right on this, and somewhere deep in Emma she’s known it all along, ingrained in her by every family she’s ever been a part of and torn or forced away from.

          Emma backs away, and sees Snow realize she’s said something hurtful, but it’s too late for her and the heart that has finally begun to mend here in Storybrooke is torn apart again. Emma looks at Henry, and sees only worry, and she realizes that he’s one of the few things she can really count on, and she can’t be here, can’t put him in danger, and she has to _go_ before she hurts him like she’s hurt her father.

          Emma spins and darts away, barely noticing a hand brushing against her as it tries to grab her, or the voices calling after her. Before she even realizes it, she’s inside of her car, her little Bug that’s been with her for so long, and starts the engine, the familiar puttering vibrations as she pulls away calming her only slightly. Her eyes barely remain on the road as her mind races, wonders where to go, and what to do, how to get control of this again – her hands spark dangerously at that thought, and she smells the stench of burning plastic as they scorch the steering wheel beneath them.

          It doesn’t help that her eyes betray her, and blur her vision with tears, and then she has to swerve, barely missing a street sign with her front fender. She tries to think, but all she can think of are Elsa’s words. First, the words she’d just denied this morning, of family looking in fear at her. And then, the words from inside the ice wall echo through her mind. _‘She helps me control it._ ’

          Emma slams on her brakes and the car squeals to a halt outside the town proper, when she realizes it. “She helps me control it,” Emma murmurs, remembering how strong and controlled her power has been in the past: but only sometimes, only truly under control in the presence of her own person who helped her with her control. Who caused an eclipse and stopped a deadly and insanely powerful magic device with her.

          “Regina,” she says, the name rolling from her lips, hope returning to her even as she realizes her hands are trembling at that realization, shaking on the burnt plastic of the steering wheel.

-=<=(__)=>=-

          Regina is staring at the pages of Henry’s storybook, in the cool depths of the crypt. She closes her eyes slightly in exasperation at the sound of bootsteps. She should have known Robin wouldn’t leave her alone and return to his wife’s side, that he wouldn’t listen to what she asked of him. She opens her mouth to say something about Déjà vu, but it dies in her throat at a soft knock on the doorframe.

          She opens her eyes curiously – somehow she knows that knock – and when she sees the woman framed in the doorway, she realizes it is Emma’s knock. She feels something inside of her start at that - at knowing this woman that well.

          “Emma,” she sighs, “Let me guess, the town needs my help again-“

          Her words die in her throat as Emma steps in, and in the candlelight she can see Emma's face clearly. Her eyes are red-rimmed, her features creased, and her expression is filled with self-loathing and despair that is so familiar it is as if Regina is looking into a distorted reflection in the mirror of herself during her marriage to Leopold.

          She realizes Emma’s hands are quaking and glowing with pent-up energy, and before she can speak, Emma does, her voice sounding raw.

          “No. _I_ need your help, Regina. I- I can’t control my powers. Something happened, and I blew a hole in the station with them, and David got hurt, and I ran.”

          Regina rises from her seat, setting aside the now-forgotten storybook and smoothing out her red dress, and cocks her head at the other woman, studying her expression even as she reaches out to feel for Emma’s magic with her own.

          “You ran… and yet you’re here.”

          It shocks her when a tear drips down Emma’s cheek. Emma is normally so composed, so put together, but now it looks like she’s coming completely undone. Regina realizes, finally, that it’s truly all a façade hiding the broken woman she sees before her, and she knows what that’s like and she’s done it herself, hiding her pain behind the wicked face of the Evil Queen. She can’t help the need to fix Emma that courses through her – to fix Emma in the way no one ever bothered to fix _her_

          “Yeah,” Emma says shakily. “You’re… the only one who gets me, really. And you’re the one… who helps me control this power. Please, Regina.”

          Regina nods, feeling the magic roiling like a trapped lion within the other woman, snapping out and trying to be free. She steps closer, and Emma takes only a half-step back before stopping, letting Regina move closer.

          “You need to center yourself, Emma. Magic is emotion. I’ve taught you that. You’re angry and scared and that is only fueling it and making this worse. I need you to close your eyes, and take a deep breath.”

          When Emma does so, she continues, her voice as calm and soothing as she can make it. “Now you need to keep breathing slowly like that, and focus on something. Something calming, something peaceful. Imagine your parents and their lov-“

          “No!” Emma’s voice breaks as she shouts, and the light that has been dimming on her hands flares up, flames flickering around her fingertips now. “That- that’s the problem, Regina; they’re scared of me, and angry at me for hurting David. Just like all the others…”

          Regina realizes then that this is even deeper than she’d thought, that this was something that reached back to her past, before she ever knew her parents, to the years Regina had read about in black and white in Sydney’s ‘dossier’ on her.

          “Okay,” Regina says, holding her hands out calmly, and she can feel the heat radiating from Emma’s fingers. “Henry. Think of Henry, and nothing else. Not your past, not what happened, just Henry.”

          Emma’s chin jerks in a sharp nod. “I left; I didn’t want to hurt him. He looked worried.”

“I’m sure he is worried, and he needs you to control yourself. For him and for yourself. He loves you with all his heart, Emma. He believes in you. As do I. You just need to focus on that and let your anger and your fear drain out of you.”

          Emma’s breath comes out shakily the next exhale, and Regina’s hands remain at the ready, ready to block and grab Emma’s magic should it try to burst free once more. But she smiles as Emma succeeds as she’d hoped, as her breathing evens and steadies, and the glowing of her hands begins to ebb.

          The magic subsides in her, at peace for the moment, and the glow disappears completely. Regina lets Emma remain that way for nearly another minute, until she is certain the woman will be able to control herself, and then places her hand on top of one of Emma’s.

          “It’s okay, dear, you’ve got your control back, and you can stop for now.”

          Emma’s green eyes snap open, her eyelids puffy and pink around them, and dart downward, looking at her hands. Regina watches as she nearly melts with relief, sees the tension leave the woman’s frame.

          “Thanks,” Emma whispers, eyes not meeting hers. Emma raises a hand to brush her hair back in an all-too-familiar gesture, but then hisses as her hand makes contact with it, and jerks it away.

          Regina looks down to see several red and pink, angry-looking burns across Emma’s palms, and doesn’t even think as she grabs the woman’s wrists and turns them into the light of the candles so she can see them better.

          She glances up, and Emma looks back sheepishly.

          “Uh, kinda melted part of my steering wheel. Had to peel a bunch of bits of melted plastic off before I came in here.”

          Regina frowns, shaking her head. “You shouldn’t have. That just made things worse and tore off more of your skin. You should always cool it and then leave it if you can, and use Vaseline until it comes off naturally,” she tuts.

          It was due to Henry that she'd learned that, when he left a spoon too close to the burner, and she grabbed it, burning her fingers with the melting plastic. She’d done the same, and only later reading about it had she realized what she had done wrong.

          Emma rolls her eyes. “How was I supposed to know that?”

          “Well, now you know for the future should you decide to melt more steering wheels. Now come here.” Regina tugs at the woman’s wrists, and is relieved when she doesn’t fight the move and allows herself to be directed to the seat Regina had only vacated a few minutes before.

          A wave of her hand has the first aid kit from her home appearing in Regina’s hand. She rummages through it and removes a package of gauze, and antibiotic ointment. After casting her gaze once more on the burns, she takes Emma’s right hand, and pulls it toward her, squeezing out some ointment. Emma sucks in a sharp pained breath when Regina uses a finger to – as gently as she can – rub the cool ointment into the burned flesh of her palm.

          Regina shakes her head as she continues. “You were right, the last time you were down here. You _are_ an idiot.” Her voice is teasing enough that Emma only looks indignant for a moment.

          “I’ve told you, every time we’ve practiced and worked on your magic – _Magic is emotion_ – and yet you insist on getting yourself riled up like this, and then _this_ happens,” Regina waves the tube of ointment toward the hand she has just finished her work on, and then grabs Emma’s other wrist to do the same there.

          “I know,” Emma sighs, sounding so mournful that Regina feels her heart _sink_ for some reason. “I just couldn’t help it. I’ve been feeling all sorts of fucked up since we found out that the Dairy Queen has been pretty much stalking me my whole life, and I don’t even remember her.”

          Regina hums lightly and raises and eyebrow, but does not speak – she can see Emma has more to get off her chest.

          “And today, my mom… I guess I’m still not over the whole ‘parents having a baby’ thing, and my powers flared up when I met Snow to babysit, and Snow looked _scared_ , and wouldn’t let me hold Neal. And don’t get me started on that either – I know she wanted a big gesture and everything, but still, naming my little brother after my dead ex-boyfriend and Henry’s dad is just… not right.”

          Regina couldn’t help the rich chuckle that escaped her throat at that. “Yes, sometimes I truly wonder about her.”

          Emma grins at that, the first hint of a smile Regina has seen from her since she’s arrived. Only a minor grimace as the ointment is applied to one of the worst of the burns, crosses her face to dim it.

          “I can’t say I know how you feel, with your brother,” Regina says suddenly, nearly surprising herself, as she cuts the gauze and begins to loosely drape it to cover the burns on Emma’s palms. “But I do know how it feels to think you have nothing, that you’ve lost what you’ve had.”

          “But, I’ve begun to learn that I’m not alone. Henry has shown me that… and you as well, I suppose, despite the bumbling way you’ve gone about it. You need to remember that Henry is there for you, and focus on that the next time this happens.” Regina hesitates only a moment. “I’m here as well.”

          Emma nods thoughtfully, as Regina tapes down the gauze. “I’ll try. D’you think maybe… we could pick back up with the whole teaching thing? I think that might help to, if you teach me more.”

          One corner of Regina’s lips curve in a smirk. “I suppose I can, if you promise to apply yourself. It _is_ a nice feeling to be a teacher.”

          “Thanks,” Emma’s eyes crinkle at the corners and her pink lips rise into a delighted smile, and Regina isn’t sure right away why her heart is pounding in her chest at the sight of that smile.

          She tapes down the rest of the gauze quickly, but before her hands can escape, Emma’s grab them loosely – enough that it isn’t painful for the blonde.

          Regina’s eyes skim down to the fingers holding hers, and something in her chest does a delightful swooping when her eyes rise back up and meet Emma’s emerald ones.

Regina’s breath catches in her throat when she recognizes the feeling. One she’s not felt in decades. Emma’s tongue slips out slightly and wets her lips, and there’s something charged and smoldering in her gaze as she looks at Regina. Her fingertips brush Regina’s palms, and the unexpected weight of the moment hammers Regina like a sledgehammer to the gut.

Her own words to Henry mere hours ago niggle at her from the back of her head. ‘ _But the next time a happy ending knocks on my door, I’m gonna be ready._ ’

And here it is, she realizes, Emma here in front of her having knocked both literally and figuratively on her door. Here was that chance in a place she has never even expected it.

Emma’s face lowers toward hers, her green eyes suddenly dark, and their hot breaths mingle for a moment until Regina does the rest and closes the gap. Emma’s lips are soft and chapped against Regina’s, and she’s never quite felt anything so _right_.

-=<=(__)=>=-

Emma isn’t even entirely sure what she’s doing. Regina had calmed her like she knew she would, had talked to her until she regained control of her magic, and the pain she’d felt hearing her mother say her name in that _tone_ dulled. And then she’d taken her hands and taken care of her burns. It was something about the woman’s touch, something tender about it, and a burning attraction she’d buried for so long, that had led to this.

Regina’s head shifts, their noses bumping as their lips slide together. She just hadn’t been able to help herself, being so close to Regina and her full red lips. She’s not sure where this came from, but it feels like it’s been there all along, just under the surface.

Emma reaches her hands up and Regina shivers as Emma’s bandaged palms press against her cheeks, and Emma’s bared fingertips rest on her warm skin. Regina presses closer, deepening the kiss, and Emma can’t help but respond the same, opening her lips slightly and meshing them further with Regina’s.

She shouldn’t be doing this, Emma knows. She’s supposed to be with Hook, she’s started… something with Hook, and she isn’t sure what it is. But nothing with him has ever made her feel like this. Nothing with him has ever made her feel like her bones are vibrating with elation and happiness, or like someone lit their 4th of July arsenal and set it off inside her chest. They are special, like she told Regina only a few days before, but she hadn’t realized how special until now or what that truly meant.

Emma groans softly when Regina’s fingers move up to her head, and weave into her hair as they grasp at the back of her head and pull her closer. Their mouths mash together now and Regina’s tongue tentatively searches hers out, sending sparks shuddering down both their spines as they meet.

Emma never hears the shuffled footsteps behind her, and the surprised, soft “Oh!” that leaves the shocked mouth of Robin Hood, nor does she hear the swiftly retreating steps that follow.

Emma is too far gone by then, already hopelessly and mindlessly addicted to the taste of this woman’s lips as one of Regina’s hands strokes down her back and presses their bodies closer. She’s not sure how she has been so blind to what has been right in front of her, but she doesn’t care now. All that matters is here, now, and Regina.

Emma is disappointed as Regina pulls back, her lips leaving Emma’s with a wet noise, but the look in Regina’s eyes more than makes up for it.

“Regina,” she says breathlessly, “what are we doing?”

Regina’s eyes are dancing, and Emma can see tiny reflections of the candles of the room in them. “I’m not entirely sure. But I like it. And I’m not losing this chance at a happy ending so please, don’t make me stop.”

“I won’t,” Emma says, knowing there is an incredibly goofy-looking grin that is spreading across her face. “I don’t want to.”

“Good,” Regina says, and grips her chin, pulling her back for another kiss.

A happy ending Regina said, Emma realizes as she loses herself in the kiss. She isn’t sure she believes in them, even now, but if what whatever this is between them feels like it could be damn close.

-=<=(__)=>=-

-=<=(__)=>=-

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hope you guys liked it. I guess there were a few good things about the episode, even with that OQ ending. I liked Ingrid’s history, and the whole Emma-losing-control thing (and I swear if Regina, or at least Elsa, isn’t the one to help her control and they put Hook in, I may throw my TV out the window). And the casting folks get a great big round of applause from me – loved their Duke of Weasel-ton ;), and they nailed it with Brighton Sharbino being young Ingrid… she looks so much like a young Elizabeth Mitchell it’s uncanny.
> 
> And yes – burns with plastic – I was a big dummy and pulled the plastic off right away, and my doctor told me so later. Ended up taking a lot longer to heal. If it ever happens, cool it off immediately (cold water for a good while), and then let the dead skin flake off naturally underneath over the next few days, otherwise it tends to tear away a bunch of good (and painfully singed) skin with it.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you thought, and thanks for reading!


End file.
